I do have tunnel vision. I have wanted to write for a few days, but each time I tell myself off for wanting time to myself given that my looming exams are just around the corner. But now I shall give myself a quick break, before I tackle some more work.
There are a few things I would like to share today. Lack of time makes for lack of effort, and hence I shall start by copying and sharing a poem by Philip Larkin.
Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off?
Six days of the week it soils
With its sickening poison -
Just for paying a few bills!
That's out of proportion.
Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losels, loblolly-men, louts-
They don't end as paupers;
Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines-
they seem to like it.
Their nippers have got bare feet,
Their unspeakable wives
Are skinny as whippets - and yet
No one actually starves.
Ah, were I courageous enough
To shout Stuff your pension!
But I know, all too well, that's the stuff
That dreams are made on:
For something sufficiently toad-like
Squats in me, too;
Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
And cold as snow,
And will never allow me to blarney
My way of getting
The fame and the girl and the money
All at one sitting.
I don't say, one bodies the other
One's spiritual truth;
But I do say it's hard to lose either,
When you have both.
I think the theme is self-explanatory. I shan't comment on the meaning, after all poetry is meant to resonate in each and everyone both in similar and divergent ways.
But I shall explain how I relate to this poem. The toad that squats in me has been croaking for many years, and although I may not yet actually be earning a penny, the amount of labour the toad demands of my penniless self makes me wonder how I can stand him at all. I too wonder at times why I cannot let things go and see where they take me. This is something I would like to try to learn, albeit not right now as my exams are looming.
The theme of letting yourself go and accepting yourself for who you are is very nicely portrayed in Disney's famous movie Frozen. So widely distributed, I won't give a link to the original song. However, today I came across a version that I found quite amusing given my circumstances.
I must return to my Accounting Analysis, and my Statistical Analysis, and my... Oh you get the gist.
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